octave

from c to c 

the ear counts  two half steps

from a to z the rythm

draws

 it's consonants

vowels carry tones 

roses are just bones

lotus has no thorns 

 the last castle is never a glass castle 

Livia S.........teinbeck

 i don t like writing, i do it when i m tremendously unhappy. singing is pure joy whilst writing is deep pain. 

however, i chose to do it 'cause it helps with  self discipline -whatever that is-

there's this website account of a lunatic, calls himself a psychiatrist. if you tap john 's name in any average search engine you'll find, besides his work, this opinion of someone who went to medical school, passed evaluation criteria, like an absurd lottery gained a degree -hopefully a lot of weight also to suite his  external profound ugliness-, reached out the point of choosing a specialisation and analysing mentally ill people was the only pleasure that made  his boat float. i can't possibly say he managed to cure anything other than his increasing and disgusting ego.

when i saw the immensity of shit displayed there.....that many of the readers managed actually to digest and call caviar...my god...pus was pouring from my retina...

two of three homo sapiens, regardless of chromosome  are pure drunks, violent, insecure, frustrated, fail with their personal lives more than once.

none of them guards like an angel  the backpack of every college student, as a reading obligation purpose to earn a degree: none of them has the ability to be so clever as to use emotions as a luggage rather than a burden. 

there are people who were born with abilities that can't be  understood or even tolerated. 

john s personal life cannot be more important that his work, only if a fuckface decides he can wipe his ass with his work by denigrating his name. if you re a psychiatrist..... do case studies on average people.......or famous people....who cares.....but when you write about it to show and tell your immense nothing within you...please use a pseudonym...protect that person s identity in order not to suffer from stigma......science is meant for evolution of all, not defamation of some in order for others to feel huge nothings.  remarkable people should be honoured,  not stained.  them or their memory.

so, if you wipe you ass with my lover's name written on every cover and illustration holding  printed pages  filled with beautiful things he wrote....i can very well do the same with you degree. 

editor's note: i'm a huge fan of Popeye's  cartoons, so if spinach is my empowerment brunch...check out the results :)

vlad's faeries

 there's this tradition in Transylvania's culture about some cringe  religious beliefs, a guy named john, elementary school colleague of jesus or such, they hanged around, sipped  a few beers and then they were like: hey man, let s do some shit together, how about tricking some assholes and their ancestral purity with jokes like "fuck culture! hashtag profane....christianity  is the sacred thing"

they had their own Twitter tag, most junkies fell for it like since 2026 years ago

i know....soooo last yesterday :) out of fashion

june 24th or how naked is not only allowed but actually demanded with the obligation of being a true beautiful girl 

so this dude, johnny baptism addict, born on this day _apparently_ had massive impact on what later became a viral trend. nice guy, lost his head 'cause some cunts tricked him....sometimes being a gentleman doesn't get you places.

anyways, here in the Carpathian nest, this story wasn't very glad received by the inhabitants, who lived well and in pure wealth until time itself decided one god above is enough. 

by comparison to what the other dude andrew got....we can very well say prostitutes who get you beheaded are more intelligent than shitty rednecks who staple you on an x shaped ladder. 

now, before this ...blabbering about god almighty and such patriarchal shame, this particular day meant a huge deal for this magical place filled with joy and beauty and generous geography theatre :)

Midsummer's rituals here in Transylvania are known for sɨn.zjˈe.ne , Summer Solstice announced worldwide the harvest season changing.....and the European culture spoke for Her Self.  :)

here, in this particular nigh, the vampires choose the love of their lives...and we only live once :)

girls dance naked beautiful as they are and by doing so they  connect with earth itself.

vlad chose his wife.....

 turned into a fearful power after losing her unrighteously.....such a sacrifice...such a burden. 

he was bullied eversince, got mad with god for taking away his most precious and pure element within him...and lived all his nights obsessed with finding her again..at least for a moment. 

now, if Francis Ford Coppola would have chosen the love of my life's work as the main  soundtrack for his movie...

 the masterpiece Cantata Profana, by far the best composition of the 20th century in european culture ...and one could have actually portraied better the secular origins of this mythical place....but...enough with the criticism....who am i to dare to badmouth hollywood .....

meet below the genious musical mind of Bela Bartok, close your eyes and feel the depth of the composition. 

and thank him  for eternity  :)

i can hear Nosferatu whispering as he takes me with him to the depth of eternity: "tu ești dragostea vieții mele"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZhMPJeT-jg&list=RDCZhMPJeT-jg&start_radio=1

so, when the ethnography professor in freshman sociology attendee rage commitment interviewed me.......i will never forget that magical moment :).....sometimes one just has to belive and be grateful.

i was a poor college kid...no money, struggled to commute, no food basically....i remember i wore some ragged jeans and it was hot outside so we sat on a bench in the living shade of a tree of some sort, in a so called cigarette break  from teaching and practical experience gained  in studying folklore in what was left of homogenous prototypes of communities.....

the elders who braided my hair on a wood spindel with sugar as a natural styling cosmetic while i was recording their songs and stories....they are now resting for eternity....so glad i had the chance to meet them....

  this professor asked me what i was doing with my time besides school: most likely if i worked for a living like most of us had to since very few had the fortune of parents who can provide for education... ... i told him i'm a cantista...a vocalist...in common language  "a singer" :)......and he looked at me.....my god...such and angel ....and asked ...in plain language  "do you know where all the jewelry and furrs and belongings of  %#$^$^^%&# _editor's note: i will get back on the issue, just not now_are?" 

...holy fuck....i was a 19 year old chubby girl......i was a janis joplin meets mahalia meets .....celine dion ...what was i to know about this amazing  Scholar's deep intuition regarding how one s talent is used for the benefit of others. 

when life gives you the privilege to study under the protective wing of this amazing intellect and spirit, you can only cherish the memory in your soul and treat the experience as a living creature. 

there are people who see through you like you re clean glass. 

some are unimaginative evil.

the others are pure beauty, educators who give everything without expecting anything in return. "this child must succeed by all means" "this kid would never harm anyone, not even those who harmed her"

i was taught by the very best not to end up in the hands of malicious softwares...still evil exists...one can only do so much as to see the red flags and stay away..

and yes, my brain will always be smarter than my emotions :)

this post is a singing break treated with brain activity rather than lazines...and it serves my self  cheering up since real  life is atrocious sometimes....

   the will to stay alive, the faith of beauty within, the courage to stay away from humiliation,   the books i deeply love, the music that surrounds me  through every step of the day...

 the upcoming of Practical magic 2nd...my most favourite movie of all times with the perfect match of aestetic in a little girl's dreams: grunge babes with long hair and rock'n roll boots and floral prints black-ish canvas dresses.... two adorable actrices who passed the test of time when it comes to autenticity. so admire those women...not  to mention the screenplay and mise en scene and the storytelling ...

and since U2 gave us loads of good music to rest our hearts on we'll just  sing along with  Bono :)

 the midsummer fairy is the best gift father universe can offer. just make sure you don t upset the love of his life: the spirit :)

 

Ernest, at its best

thunder and sun and snow and

a dragon 

swallowing earth

carrots and peas and beef and grilled fish 

in the love of a woman 

who s waiting at home for you

the star 

the icon 

the dust of vanity

tooth fairy's promised gift on the new born little's girl pillow

love is a well written screenplay  placed  in the hands of the cruel theatre  director 

never mind this, 

  just

Hemingway and me, alone in  the sea

Făurar

 nude is beauty

 naked is rape 

pornography  is  the yes given to a murderer who can't take no as an answer

prostitutes who throw urine over  beautiful faces of magic girls 

are  married, and  mothers, and sisters of their pimps 

and become queens of the faeces 

these so called ladies  are always  the real tramps :)

escape goat, Pavlov, obedience and why Sacred Universe works in mysterious ways

 putting blame on others is actually quite childhood like experience except it's what shaped history worldwide. 

if you ate your brother's  fair share chocolate you'll most likely lie of not being you, blame it on  santa claus or the neighbour's kid or someone you maliciously and strategic dislike enough as to suffer the punishment meant for you  since your parents will, most likely,  argue with deviant behaviour of taking what's not yours,  after righteously  having received  your own chocolate.  

the most fashionable religion in europe is christianity which, of course, solved a lot of moral issues through dogmatics and control and worship the invisible greater good and creating powerful symbols of  decency and peace  and silence  meant to  shut down inevitable chaos that happends from time to time when things get bad 'cause beautiful souls  fall in the hands of tyrans :) 

so, lust or.....being greedy is baaad, humans are demanded to  take what's theirs to get and if one of them skips the line....coercition is applied. 

contemporary world doesn't go through the sports of fist-fight or swords or ..well.....you name it :) since the most effective way, old as the Scriptures, like Celibidache said :) is through denigrate a human's presence. 

there s this book, called Condemnation of Paganini, wrote by Anatoly Vinogradov: you can't imagine how much i needed it and finally found it @ an Antique bookstore just to shockingly discover i already owned  it: had to dust off  the covers   in my home's attic  :) received through inheritance for my grandma...Livia, obviously :) with her own trademark stamp for her personal library with her maiden name as  beautiful as my very own b day stamp was given just to rewrite karma , i guess :)

people who desperately want to be loved and seek the love of others as a refuge or salvation are, most likely, little children who never had the attention and affection  of  an average family-like-pattern, therefore expectations say: biological parents or legal guardians or imaginative long tailed rabbits   are  supposed to offer  the comfort and fill in the missing gaps. 

 of course there are a lot of theories about self sacrifice and losing conservation instinct. some find refuge in convent by ridiculousy, as i, a social science expert, see it :) self isolation in terms of embracing grief as a virtue. 

anthropology is not an...let's say..... easy science to have and to hold and study if one doesn't have the main passion for it: the ability to observe in a description kind of way, greek graphos, what only very later one can synthesise as a legitimate science: greek -logos-.

it's almost like a screenplay writer most of the times feels like smashing  the teeth of a director who he/she disagrees when taking part in the mise-en-scene production:  in viewing behaviours through the lens of emotions. 

and this guy, an anthropologist named Bronislaw Malinowski, reached post mortem fame through his, nowadays smoked like a rotten leftover cigar, theory of necessity placed and drawn as a pyramid like check in needs of a human in order to fulfil  a satisfactory state of compensation, maybe happines...in my terms....how to cherish life itself. 

i ll talk about B.W.'s work in another post, what's to underline is  the very first step of this theory early mentioned: need of shelter, food, water/hydration, rest, and sex :) 

although  there are many sadist  out there willing to provoque harm to others and themselves by starvation, deepselfthirst, lackofrest, cold and any other stupid  experiments meant to show  boundries can be expanded.... :) one always, in the end, if are lucky enough to remain alive... gets to the simple result of being just and plainly human, as an individual belonging to the society in which we, as drops, form an amazing amount of Ocean-like-beauty. 

 some say ones can live without  food or hydration or sleep or  sex, i think one can surrvive but for limited periods of time, with the  quality of life itself  gettin' from  bad to worse.  

in this pyramid, artist's needs take place as a superior state of being in gold medal winning hierarchy. 

an artist, viewed through this sunglasses is an individual who can lack the basic needs and still feel happy while doing their art solely.

pretty much perceived as bohemian homeless people, ones that cannot integrate through discipline and being told what to do. 

 most of the people i got acquainted with in my lifetime are like that not having any talent whatsoever :) 

they go to work for wages only, build careers out of degrees, not vocation, justify themselves as having trades on market through pure opportunities, privileges, status, or being serious thieves, murderers, frauds and professional liars in their predator way of absorbing the good will intent of the childish wonderful  kindhearted  minds. 

any decent parent, tutor, professor, manager, administrator of human resources knows this, however, there's not so much anyone can do but hope for the best when handling situations far from common sense control.

the most like to be villains i notice have an impressive charisma associated with a forwardness far from any decent behaviour is likely to be understood. 

i sense it  like absolute  fear to have someone like that in my presence, like a harry potter movie voldemort character placed in real life. i m scared as living hell out of people who will hurt me only to take away all of the gifts holy grace poured on me. 

intent, although can be smelt, cannot be proved by anyother than facts. 

back to Nicollo Paganini, my lover :) and one of the most badmouthed and genious string instrument players of the Romantic era: he was a boy, just a boy living he's destiny and DNA musical life...and suffered tremendous pain out of being in the wrong places at wrong times that ate all his energy and lead him to death. Wolfgang ...that.......that tragedy  i can't even think about..

ok. 

back to present: in order to come clean hands out  of a shitty situation that can damage reputation, people use excuses out of other people's image, the army structure calling this escape goats: disposables, or how  someone can be used and denied, through that the process of dehumanisation being treated like a fair trial. 

of course there's likes and dislikes, no one forces us to put up with what we re not comfortable with, however: this world's history seems to function  through the dynamics of tragedy measured in centuries and the power of deity measured in seconds...... deliverance of the shit all assholes provide and then ask for caviar rights  :)

  

deviant behaviours  -whereas norms may be also considered, for the eyes of any average sociologist, something that is present through count; so even vile behaviours  can be as seen facts to be tolerated or even boring due to constantly repeat actions eg:murder, therefore not so shocking :) (check out Auguste Comte, Emile Durkheim...my husbands :)....- can be placed in mental healthcare institutions  or jailhouses, but until now......no one know hows to deal with them. 

so, apparently: being a decent, simple educated human with no bad habits and morals and a genuine nice person is for losers :) if you re not a psychotic fuckface who lies and cheats and throws poison to others....there s nothing interesting about you to be considered :)

 decency is for people who will die soon :) and winning is for snipers :) and resilience is for idiots portrayed as  clowns by those who don't have the intellect to laugh out of ideas, only of other people's  misfortune :)

although  circumstances are beyond our control, our free will always is within ;) any smart entrepreneur knows convents, graveyards, psych wards and jail houses are filed with people that cannot be replaced :)

for others, there's bank accounts, manipulation, extortion, and using humans as resources exploiting their own weakness: their ability to survive through what they want desperately to give to others: love  used as  a theatre Ego not  as a sacrifice.... and to one's own  happiness, putting sacrifice for others by choosing against their hearts is something that actually doesn't last :)

there's not much i learned about life so far, i'm just a girl. i don't belive in people taking away other people's fortune.....i think it s just wind in summertime towards what sometimes we feel as thunderstorms.

most of the greatest minds and talents  i know through what's being written about them or through live speech that tells truth  by  facing the bariers of time.....all of these humans i owe so much to !.....gave their lives to the amazing it.... this unknown it  that chose them....if you ask me...against their will as simple humans :) their would have lived and died just like the rest of mortals: breeding out of lust, heating homes out of comfort, driving expensive cars out of prestige and fame.

of course there are noble minds that were born as aristocrats, Kant and.....i dont know.... Shakespeare, most likely, who had the fortune of not facing hunger or premature death of loved ones or themselves. 

like the mythical achile s heal....where our strengh is.... our weakness can be easily spotted and hunted by allowing to  surround ourselves with the "et tu, brute" wasp like hovers.  and it may take a lifetime for some to have the gettin' away courage of starting all over from scratch. some never do.

all i ever loved in my lifetime is music, musical notation handbooks, art, dance, art cinematography, my profession, sociology books, ethnography, anthropology, and this makes me feel safe from harm, 'cause my brain is always smarter that my emotions. 

challenging one's own will in terms of aiming for success is also facing no options left plan, and the times for rest and heal.

thus being said, as a delightful sensual drama queen that i am: i m not writting in my last will the give away ownership of my bass quitars and musical gear!

my gear  is like women in pubs: nobody serves them, get your own :)

 

 

14 going 41

  being and adult is the most challenging thing a human can experience if  he/she is lucky enough to be alive reaching maturity age...i guess old age is even worse 'cause the  body doesn't help you anymore.....not  to mention the cognitive ability...however

folklore worldwide translates stages of development of a human being  through passing-by-lifelearning seen as  patterns of behaviour by the society, this perfect self taught living thing made of  living individuals-there's also  memories of the dead....i'm gettin' there but since  there are so many  degree holders .....one has to be tolerant to the interesting amount  of nothing :)

this thing mentioned upstairs,  in romanian mythology beautiful spoken by: "rituri de trecere", is a useful tool and an  interesting one. 

in simple words, ethnology for dummies like :) it's about a human being born and the family providing the child with a notion of validity and social integration by the act of christening, romanian for "botez" since christianity took over secular beliefs of blessed perfect culture and replaced it with imposed civilisational agression...but hey...what can you do :)...not every thing in jesus is wrong, some might actually call it the real deal :)

ok, if the skip key is pressed and the confessional puberty communion is significat to church and  less important for culture....the human marks the second rite of passage: union with a partner by choice, in an ethology like view kind of like all the other species: protocooperation and building shelter alongside a partner to improve strength in facing outside threats. 

this is nowadays called  marriage, not the legal one! the religious one...romanian word used is "cununie" or how one gets played by their own weakness. 

and then there's the most pleasant one: 'cause if you re either good, bad, sweet, sour, salty  or just simply insignificant, there's no other better act of vocal range, drums playing, idiots adding value to the corps in rituals meant to transpose real pain of grief in professional acts meant to impress. romanian for funeral: "înmormantare", 'cause inhumation took all the credits of the Sacred cremation :) cats do need to have a decent place to piss, granted right :)

it is know by  every autonomous creature that decisions take the shape our thoughts, just like water, spiritual element and the most important chemical ...thing.... on this planet. 

therefore, once we adapt to change, we're either listening to Metallica, wherever we may roam :) or just accept with wisdom the magical unknow :)

now, since i'm such a late late laaast yesterday baroque  princess......  i ll never bitch about modesty and material lacks... just let me eat cake :)

inspired  by my dead lover Jose Ortega y Gasset, who was so right about ....pretty much everything. 

denim

 

not so long ago, 26 years or such to be precise, give or take a few harvesting seasons, 

life 

took away a dream only to replace it with a gift :)

high school not only led the steps  to the musician i am today but also to the sociologist insufferable, know-it-all, annoying who is always driven by curiosity and has the guts to wear smart pants :)

flunking admission to a smug  reputable bilingual elite training class  led me as a  witty preppie to the  destination i  belonged :)

Simion Mehendinți, my heart....

 the one and only   academic scholar who has true value for my professional admiration towards earned credits................ was an amazing human being. 

besides his accomplishments:

 being the first ever geographer living in this political nation called nowadays well...we all know the name of the state :) was an intelligent and devoted scientist who developed a system of measurable knowledge based on geography and ethnography  through anthropogeography who later led to what we all study today as anthropology....bessssssides that :)

 he was also a nice and kind hearted man who, regardless of the perfect skilled ownership of several foreign languages who helped him read authors and study properly in-depth handbooks...chose to live here out of free will 'till intellectual  work led his old age years to blindness...and like  the rest of us..death. 

the point of this post, besides the lame ass fakes  who steal my creativity and life long learning just to  make it their own by  showing  and telling  how an average  low IQ  can get ridiculous  :)......is to underline the importance self guided beliefs in terms of aiming for success provided through ethical  standards. 

 what is very but veeeery annyoing to my ears is using the man's ethnicity to brag about in terms of national symbol. i don't think this place deserves him  for  he's accurate worth is much higher ground.

  and i hope Academia can carry on the battle between cultural nation and political one when it comes to such a valuable person as he was :)

if one has enough space left in "it's" :))) head to see beauty in the most simple and virtuous ways all the  monumental works  are ever  built...there's nothing left to save this civilisation  from drowning. 

it takes courage, sacrifice, stubbornness....losing partners we fell in  love with... out of pure stupidity 'till true soul mates enter our lives to become complete.....'cause choosing what we do is always harder that being what we are.

i guess time itself has a way to settle things mankind never could :)

soooo, thus being written 

if you think Levi Strauss is a pair of jeans and you don't know who that Claude guy is......f*%k of :)